I say hi while you said goodbye.

Tonight was nice. Lovely weather. Cooling the hot days ahead just a little bit. That was quite a nice suprise you've given me. A pleasure seeing you, as always. I'm terribly sorry about me seeming so far away to myself. I'm caught between many thoughts at the moment, and you are just one of them. Sad really.

I have learned to cherish what I have now and for those in the past, history is always history, that's because I did not learn and now not wanting to fail again, I chose strength to continue on through this mire. Give me Serenity to accept what I cannot change and more so the compassion for the weak, a prayer, thats what I need. I'm sure the consequences will be scoffed at, but thats alright. I'll learn to enjoy mockeries.

My chest hurts...feel like it's been emptied. I almost feel like crying as this hurts so bad. I guess I can play my part well and stay in character. Delightful... Behind this wall I call a smile I'm being torn asunder. I really would not mind a random bullet right now. You're terrified, afraid nothing is there...afraid something is there...keeps fearing and that is why I was there.
I think I'll not think. I feel kinda sick actually. Wish I could stop thinking about what went wrong and actually it could be...nothing.
Ever notice how I answer my own questions? I'm not sure why I do that...I've always done that it seems. Conversed with myself over things of importance to me.  A voice of reason, knowing reason knows nothing is the only thing I can believe is myself...How could I trust me? Have you not listened to a single word I've said?

I didn't think it would take this long to bleed out...trying to write a few good paragraphs. I'm just joking with you. I love your reactions just to shock.

Ah....I said so its life huh, is but a twisting set of paths, each one full of rocks and roots, ready to trip to dare you take your eyes off of it and this would be just another love I can do without. Can't we? To live, to breathe, to be, of being. Lovely this is, a tragedy like no other, I can hear the crowd, they applaud and cheer. Or was it? Did the writer forget to tell you your role in the end? So it is too bad, I guess we have found the finale wanting a little less more than it can give.

Whoever you are holding now in hand, without one thing all will be useless, the person who risks nothing, does nothing
has nothing and is nothing. A self-realisation is harder than self sacrifice.

Take care, and don't take the lead or you'll find yourself looking at the back of the pack... Despite your position as words are really and meaningless. I'll say I love you some other time when you're stronger and be strong.