Understanding

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can actually ache in places that you didnt know you had inside you, like it doesnt matter how many tattoos you get, or gyms you join, or how many beers you drink with your friends...you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood, and how in the hell for that moment you could think that you were that happy. Sometimes you could even convince yourself that he will see the light and show up on your doorstep...and after all that, however long all "that" may be, you will go somewhere new...and you will meet people who make you feel worth while again...and the little pieces of your soul will finally come back, and all that fuzzy stuff from the years of your life you've wasted...that will eventually begin to fade...unless you dont want it to...i hope you dont want it to.