If only you were lonely.

During my long drive, i was able to accept and understand many things about myself.

I'm not the kind of person who jumps head first into a relationship. I like being smothered with phone calls but i don't like committing myself to anything that i don't feel is going to be worth it in the long haul. I've gotten better at returning phone calls to most everyone. I'm usually terrible at that but upon doing so, I've become very busy however I also want to commit myself to the good friends i have.

My point is, as much as i say i'm lonely, i think what i really want is to be loved by and close to my friends. it's not romantic, but it does fill in the blank zones i tend to find.

We always want what we can never have, but we torture ourselves by exposing ourselves to that very thing. Maybe because we hope, or maybe because it just makes us feel better knowing that we're still close with that we want. In my case, the fact of the matter is that love can come in so many forms. Sometimes it's less defined, and sometimes it's said out loud.

Relationships a weird thing in general. The line between friends, lovers, and acquaintances are often blurred and sometimes, perhaps that's necessary. Rambling, i know.  but this has been an extremely out of the blue week for me. It was good to spend time with family, friends and by myself with nothing less familiar around me.