Invisible Me

Typical question-type blog exordium: How is it that you can spend so much time with someone you love during some extraordinarily surreal piece of your life and then wake up one day, discover you're alone, and slowly realize your one-time love is trying painfully hard to pretend you don't exist?

Typical devinsm-type interjection: That's screwed up.

Typical bullshit and drawn out riposte during which I over analyze my life and most of the collateral damage it's caused: Who knows? Seriously. Maybe it's better to ask how someone can claim they can't live without you and then later not even answer your phone calls and insist on only comminucating over text messages. Really it's a fucking wonder I'm not institutionalized by now I feel like a basketcase.

At first I blamed myself. You know, typical boo hoo I'm a douchebag, it's my fault, I ruined eveything, etc...then I blame you too. Was I really a victim of lusty banter? Did I buy into false hope? (here comes the million dollar question...) did I finally take that chance on a relationship again and find a love that I trusted would overcome all barriers only to come out feeling like the biggest hopeless romantic and biggest dupe of this century? Pretty much.

It's a shame...I usually like to end my blogs on a happy note or revelation or even at least a conclusion but I'm late and frankly out of effort as well.

I have a world of love to give, you just won't accept it. Still!