Gratification, I'm just fine.

Anyway, it has been brought to my attention that there seems to be something missing in me. I thought to myself WTF are you talking about. Then carefully examined myself (my previous blogs mentions the process and what I found, I won't reiterate it here).

Missing someone, someone whom brought so much light and love to my otherwise dead life. I also know that the one whom was writing the script on my blank pages of my heart, that stopped. Its partially what is missing.

Another key ingredient for what's been missing in me was self-gratification. My focus has been so scattered and drawn like a tight-rope. I don't like walking that line.

I am alot of things but I am not going down without a fight for myself. I know myself very, very well and the only thing I fear besides lizards, closed spaces and dark corners is losing myself to someone else or what they think I am. I should never have to prove my love or myself to anyone.

There are way to many opportunities in this world for one persons opinion of me to control me. I don't think I'm perfect, but I do deserve better then this.