It doesn't matter now.

When i think about the past it all amounts to hardly anything at all.....I didnt get the life i wanted though i am grateful for what i have... i really am. sadly, I didnt get the feelings i gave in returned. Not complaining.

The past talks, no wait it was the horrible silence that crept upon my ever waking moment...oh that "true blue to me" silence that would only be there for me... Seems like that is  the only thing true about the past. Why should i care.... but oh wait there was something there, maybe my heart.....

I should have listened to my instincts my judgement never could have been more dead on that i should never have requested anything so as that it wouldnt bother me. Foolishness got this knife stuck through my heart and i am the one to blame...not my past.

The only thing i can do now is do like i always say "wake up".... Seems kinda funny that i have to do that something i never thought i would have to do...and so that is what i should do.

Besides it doesnt matter now.