Sometimes it's best to just lock the door and pretend you're not home.

Somewhere along the line real life communication with another human being is essential to having a normal existence. Times have changed, because these days people can hide away on the internet and post their thoughts and ideas in weblogs, probably get feedback from the other internetonians and be happy? Because all that face to face talk is too personal, and not wide spread enough. So unless your a public performer who spouts off at the mouth about whats haunting you to whoever is there to see you. So now with the internet you don't need a soapbox to stand on, and you don't need to work hard to attact crowds.

Personal communication and development is (can be) hindered by this inpersonal "cold" device. Right at this moment, I am only talking to myself.

I've felt at times that trying to convey real emotion and thoughts on whatever i'm feeling here is rather stagnant, these on a screen, they are in fact just "words". I'm sure there is a real life human being behind the words, typing away, expressing their innermost thoughts on the subject just as clearly as a person does, but it doesn't hide the disapointment when the words stop, when the user behind the words is gone without a response. The way I look at this is a betrayal and causes distrust in the machine and in the my own cognitive self for having let something so cold harm me in such a way i feel like normal comminication and trust is broken by bad experiences. I can stand up and spout to whoever is listening just how bad a day i've had and i may get some chipper responses. That's not the point, because it's this annoynimity that causes us to let our guard down. We open up, or in some cases "fess up" to things we hardly ever would to real people. Random thoughts that start somewhere and end somewhere else without much connection, become' after a while  uninteresting and you'll lose alot of the  "punch" you originally intended.

I'm good at sidetracking..anyway..

My friend from US is back and made me laugh at what dorks we are, so i can't complain about the momentary happiness that produced. I'm sure in the end i'll be disappointed when it disolves, but i should be the optimistic person i proclaim to be.

Either way life is futile and we all end up the same, so at least i have something i know for sure.