There's got to be more to life.

Have you ever felt numb to everything going on in your life? Do days or even weeks pass you by, and things just don't feel real or tangible? I find myself just kind of existing, but not in an actual reality. More of a feeling of being trapped in a dream that I can't wake up from. I'm waiting or searching for something, but I haven't a clue as to what it is. These days I suffer from sleep deprivation, which can actually cause serious mental issues, but I don't think my it is that severe. Maybe this lack of sleep is causing all my feelings of listlessness. Most of my friends know that I am not quite all there all the time, but they usually just let me exist in my own little world I guess you'd call it. When I get up and go into work, it doesn't feel as though it should for some reason. I'm there in my desk, but I'm not there. Yet I manage to retain as much as I supposed to be. At times, I feel like I need to get this out, but other times I just want to shut myself in. If anyone remembers me then, then you have an understanding of how I am alot now. Obviously its not quite that bad, but I do feel fried half the time. Like my brain and body are on overload, and at any moment I feel as though I could collapse. I know I'm not suicidal, but there are times that things have gotten so shitty that, while on the way to work, I would wish that my engine would blow up and take me out in a fiery mess of 70 mph flaming metal with music still playing on the stereo. Not possible, but still a bitching way to go.

Well I'm done for now.