PNS Syndrome

That stands for Paranormal Nagging Spirits Syndrome. These nagging little voices are always telling me what to do and telling me to improve my self. It's bad enough that they natter at me all of the time, but then they always insist that I have to go public with the whole thing. Yet, nobody else in the room ever hears them. I wonder how much longer until they make a little pill to make the voices in my head go away. Then I think about how lonely it would be inside my head if I didn't hear them anymore. Every time I think about that pesky little going public' part, I find my sanity going out the window again. Can't we keep this to ourselves?

I read articles, and newsletters and it amazes me how open and factual it all sounds. Hello! Did you forget that we are weird? Why aren't you hiding? Wait until we have more real tangible proof! Then I remember all of the pioneers that came before us. This must be how it feels to be a pioneer in any field of study, whether it's exploring uncharted territories, studying Quantum Physics, decoding DNA, or walking on the moon. The normal everyday Joe sits back with this bewildered look on his face saying, "No way!" There's always that element of "Wow! I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes," as we share our discoveries with the rest of the world.

I remember way back to college days that the voices used to come and talk to me. I was terrified to tell anyone for fear they'd lock me away in a little padded room. After many years of making those guiding voices prove themselves to me over and over again, I finally came out of the closet so to speak and began telling my closest friends. They didn't think I was nuts.

I've seen too many things and had heard too many stories just like mine, not to believe something or someone is out there helping us. The voices in my head have proven themselves correct and loyal too many times for me to doubt them. Isn't it natural to feel crazy and insane when pioneering into areas that are unknown and different from what we're used to? Can this many people really be crazy with the same mental health problems? Do we all have some sort of Joan of Arc Complex that makes us create the illusion that we're here to help and maybe even save these people? Do we just sell snake oil to ourselves saying it's some sort of magical elixir? Well if I'm crazy, then please don't save me.

I love believing that I'm the kind of person who steps up to the plate and does the impossible. I love believing that I was put on this planet to make a tiny difference. Oh please don't cure me of my fantasies that magic really happens. If this is crazy, then so be it. I'm in good company.