Beautiful, sweet...sleepy
And here's for glossy starry eyes, dizzy dreams
and kisses to calm you to close the night in... as we slowly but steadily with each breath, taking in air stolen from a horizon of hours past... until our eyes peek open... to new pinks, yellows, greens and blues.
29 August 2010
25 August 2010
22 August 2010
21 August 2010
To the rhythm...of my consciousness
It is days like this when I stop-think-realize then begin to radiate this gorgeous grateful glow. From all the being of my body heart and mind, meaningful motions carrying me. Forever into through and back out of myself and all I can do is to smile and make evident the moment's bright perfection.
It is days like this when all I have to give are my endless endless thanks to anyone-everyone-anywhere who has ever even brushed past even the slightest hint of a moment in my life. This, I couldn't explain it even if I tried.
It is only days like these.
It is days like this when I stop-think-realize then begin to radiate this gorgeous grateful glow. From all the being of my body heart and mind, meaningful motions carrying me. Forever into through and back out of myself and all I can do is to smile and make evident the moment's bright perfection.
It is days like this when all I have to give are my endless endless thanks to anyone-everyone-anywhere who has ever even brushed past even the slightest hint of a moment in my life. This, I couldn't explain it even if I tried.
It is only days like these.
20 August 2010
Unseen
Two hands and wrists heavy from heart scarred sleeves
two left feet that keep stumbling into the wrong headspace of thought
rational words of space and time should fall upon a sympathetic ear
but the angry reds of swollen eyes are screaming at me to adhere to my own internal rules.
Two eyes that dig deep and burrow into your secrets
two arms that hold too tightly to foolish promises of romantic notions
disposing of my jaded thoughts with sling shots of dismissed comments
but the fear that creeps besides me shadow boxes all attempts to rise above.
Two lips that tell too much and too quickly to remember
two ears that hear the negative like surround sound from the best seats of the house
idealistic and imperfect dreams and desires painted with oil slicks upon a blank canvas
but without vision the color bleeds to muddled brown to paint with shades of gray.
Two hands and wrists heavy from heart scarred sleeves
two left feet that keep stumbling into the wrong headspace of thought
rational words of space and time should fall upon a sympathetic ear
but the angry reds of swollen eyes are screaming at me to adhere to my own internal rules.
Two eyes that dig deep and burrow into your secrets
two arms that hold too tightly to foolish promises of romantic notions
disposing of my jaded thoughts with sling shots of dismissed comments
but the fear that creeps besides me shadow boxes all attempts to rise above.
Two lips that tell too much and too quickly to remember
two ears that hear the negative like surround sound from the best seats of the house
idealistic and imperfect dreams and desires painted with oil slicks upon a blank canvas
but without vision the color bleeds to muddled brown to paint with shades of gray.
18 August 2010
15 August 2010
Sobriety
We talked about the search for true love as though it is always and only a solitary quest. I am disturbed by the weighty emphasis on the topic of self and in out culture as a whole. So when I talked about my yearning, I felt like a bucket of water being splashed onto my face when people told me over and over that I did not need anyone else. They said I do not need a companion and/or a circle of loved ones to feel complete, that I should be complete inside myself.
While it is definitely true that inner contentedness and a sense of fufillment can be there whether or not we commune in love with others, but it is equally meaningful to give voice to that longing for communion. In my opinion, life without communion in love with others would be less fufilling no matter the extent of one's self love.
Rewinding the conversation at the back of my head, thinking cynicism is definitely the greatest obstacle to love in our time sadly but truly. I find most people are obsessed with fears which consumes energy that could be given to the art of loving.
Well, who am I to say.? Once again, it's another gathering/drinking weekend that stir my thoughts with a sharp note which I should have avoided.
We talked about the search for true love as though it is always and only a solitary quest. I am disturbed by the weighty emphasis on the topic of self and in out culture as a whole. So when I talked about my yearning, I felt like a bucket of water being splashed onto my face when people told me over and over that I did not need anyone else. They said I do not need a companion and/or a circle of loved ones to feel complete, that I should be complete inside myself.
While it is definitely true that inner contentedness and a sense of fufillment can be there whether or not we commune in love with others, but it is equally meaningful to give voice to that longing for communion. In my opinion, life without communion in love with others would be less fufilling no matter the extent of one's self love.
Rewinding the conversation at the back of my head, thinking cynicism is definitely the greatest obstacle to love in our time sadly but truly. I find most people are obsessed with fears which consumes energy that could be given to the art of loving.
Well, who am I to say.? Once again, it's another gathering/drinking weekend that stir my thoughts with a sharp note which I should have avoided.
14 August 2010
I wanna remember to remember to forget you forgot me.
It might as well be as though the craft of choice is the braking of hearts. As far as mine is concerned anyway... ever so subtly you crafted in conversation the absolutely most perfect and fitting of subjects... you craft such smooth and seemingly pleasant casual conversation but really i feel like you're driving words like a silver bullet.
You speak as though the mere presence in your life was a complete miracle in and of itself. And when i knock your answer is just another "oh...hi." Maybe time will work to turn round once again and love will somehow be reborn into our world together but for now I suppose that the best of things between us have passed, and that the most tactful, rational thing I can do at this point would be to paint to decrease the length of time it will take to make me forget.
Every time I said I love you I meant it completely and absolutely. And when I said thank you the way i did... I meant it as much as I've ever meant those words before. It hurts but thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
It might as well be as though the craft of choice is the braking of hearts. As far as mine is concerned anyway... ever so subtly you crafted in conversation the absolutely most perfect and fitting of subjects... you craft such smooth and seemingly pleasant casual conversation but really i feel like you're driving words like a silver bullet.
You speak as though the mere presence in your life was a complete miracle in and of itself. And when i knock your answer is just another "oh...hi." Maybe time will work to turn round once again and love will somehow be reborn into our world together but for now I suppose that the best of things between us have passed, and that the most tactful, rational thing I can do at this point would be to paint to decrease the length of time it will take to make me forget.
Every time I said I love you I meant it completely and absolutely. And when I said thank you the way i did... I meant it as much as I've ever meant those words before. It hurts but thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
13 August 2010
10 August 2010
Thank you, gooodbye. I'll see you soon.
My brain didn't stop that night, everything could have happened, but nothing did.
I was an observer, standing there in a place where I felt uncomfortable and they would never have noticed the difference. I smiled, I said hello. My guts didn't twist with anxiety. He looked exactly the same, it's been a long time, and a long time since he crossed my thoughts. That chapter which didn't have a full stop, now does.
People I've met over the years drifted in and out of my sight, and in and out of my consciousness. People I want to meet did the same. There were some jewels in the rough. A couple of nice people genuinely concerned for my well-being. For which I was appreciative.
Through all off the events, on a night which went from moderate expectations to potential early shut down, one amazing figure was constant in my mind. The city I left behind. The city I didn't say goodbye to, the city I left in a hurry...
My brain didn't stop that night, everything could have happened, but nothing did.
I was an observer, standing there in a place where I felt uncomfortable and they would never have noticed the difference. I smiled, I said hello. My guts didn't twist with anxiety. He looked exactly the same, it's been a long time, and a long time since he crossed my thoughts. That chapter which didn't have a full stop, now does.
People I've met over the years drifted in and out of my sight, and in and out of my consciousness. People I want to meet did the same. There were some jewels in the rough. A couple of nice people genuinely concerned for my well-being. For which I was appreciative.
Through all off the events, on a night which went from moderate expectations to potential early shut down, one amazing figure was constant in my mind. The city I left behind. The city I didn't say goodbye to, the city I left in a hurry...
08 August 2010
Pounding Endlessly
Never play a new drinking game with margaritas. First off, you get horrible brain freeze. Secondly, I forgot almost all of the rules and made up my own.
I can't remember what all I cam up with, but now I have a pretty good headache that tells me I played a little too well.
Or maybe I poured too well.
No one may know.
Never play a new drinking game with margaritas. First off, you get horrible brain freeze. Secondly, I forgot almost all of the rules and made up my own.
I can't remember what all I cam up with, but now I have a pretty good headache that tells me I played a little too well.
Or maybe I poured too well.
No one may know.
05 August 2010
Mindful Consumption
During a conversation over a nice vegetarian lunch with my love and hate friend "Mr White", I realized that this is something I should share with many, and exercise more than I already do in my own life.
Whenever you eat something, a piece of fruit, cereal, a steak, whatever, you're not just ingesting the particles of that food - you're also absorbing the energy that's been put into it.
For instance, when you eat an organic orange, you can feel good knowing that the energy put into growing this fruit was healthy. The tree was grown naturally and without pesticides or biological changes to the seed itself. This means the farmer also had to take extra care of his crop, rather than just spraying it. Caring for something is understanding it and understanding is love.
So, you guessed it... the organic orange you are eating is full of love. Call it cheesy but I believe this to be true.
Now take a look at a hotdog. This pig or chicken in this was more than likely, unless stated on the package as holistic/cruelty free, was treated rather poorly. Typically kept in small confines, fed artificial foods to make it fatter and more delicious, and most likely killed inhumanely. So you can imagine the energy put into this hotdog is not something of a positive nature and knowing what hotdogs already are, adding cruelty to the list of ingredients isn't going to help the case.
Before you get all skeptical, I'm not telling you that eating animals is wrong, and I'm not asking you to change your diet.
All I ask is for ONE thing.
The next time you eat something, think about what it is you're eating. Perhaps think about the origins, including the farmer who raised it, the family he/she is supporting, the grass or soil it lived off of, the air it took in, the sun....the entire universe.
Mindful eating, that is. A form of meditation I should practice regularly to help me become truly connected with what I'm putting into my body and into this world. If we can understand the deep connection between us and what we're eating, I believe that understanding can turn into love, and we can truly begin to appreciate the beauty of this world and the reasons we need to conserve it.
Mr White said: Maybe we should do something together with this. - Why not?
During a conversation over a nice vegetarian lunch with my love and hate friend "Mr White", I realized that this is something I should share with many, and exercise more than I already do in my own life.
Whenever you eat something, a piece of fruit, cereal, a steak, whatever, you're not just ingesting the particles of that food - you're also absorbing the energy that's been put into it.
For instance, when you eat an organic orange, you can feel good knowing that the energy put into growing this fruit was healthy. The tree was grown naturally and without pesticides or biological changes to the seed itself. This means the farmer also had to take extra care of his crop, rather than just spraying it. Caring for something is understanding it and understanding is love.
So, you guessed it... the organic orange you are eating is full of love. Call it cheesy but I believe this to be true.
Now take a look at a hotdog. This pig or chicken in this was more than likely, unless stated on the package as holistic/cruelty free, was treated rather poorly. Typically kept in small confines, fed artificial foods to make it fatter and more delicious, and most likely killed inhumanely. So you can imagine the energy put into this hotdog is not something of a positive nature and knowing what hotdogs already are, adding cruelty to the list of ingredients isn't going to help the case.
Before you get all skeptical, I'm not telling you that eating animals is wrong, and I'm not asking you to change your diet.
All I ask is for ONE thing.
The next time you eat something, think about what it is you're eating. Perhaps think about the origins, including the farmer who raised it, the family he/she is supporting, the grass or soil it lived off of, the air it took in, the sun....the entire universe.
Mindful eating, that is. A form of meditation I should practice regularly to help me become truly connected with what I'm putting into my body and into this world. If we can understand the deep connection between us and what we're eating, I believe that understanding can turn into love, and we can truly begin to appreciate the beauty of this world and the reasons we need to conserve it.
Mr White said: Maybe we should do something together with this. - Why not?
03 August 2010
New words
Someone taught me:
un-useful-ness is "actually" useful.
How does it work?
un = negative
ness = positive
negative + positive = neutral
therefore un-useful-ness = useful
So, let's practice another new word:
un-fair-ness = ?
There you go, smart-ass.
*by writing this, I was afraid that lightning might strike on me* ::chuckles::
Someone taught me:
un-useful-ness is "actually" useful.
How does it work?
un = negative
ness = positive
negative + positive = neutral
therefore un-useful-ness = useful
So, let's practice another new word:
un-fair-ness = ?
There you go, smart-ass.
*by writing this, I was afraid that lightning might strike on me* ::chuckles::
01 August 2010
If words could describe how it felt:
Head bent back with neck exposed
to stars beyond apartment ceilings
the light is dancing as a man would
movement guided only by
the flickering in the eyes of another
Color above distorting into
halos of candy colors shaking with vibrations
moving with the beats echoing the heart
whispering commands to me in a secret tongue
coaxing out the woman inside me with lovers eyes and intensity
with commands hushed into kissed words
I moved for you
made love to your eyes, mouth, and hands
with simultaneous pleasures
seeing something invisible to any other
reaching in to wrap your hand around the truth in me
never with any request for the proof from me
Music crashed through with thunderous applause
yet silent in slow motion and frozen in time
with licked lips and flowing hair
inhibitions dissipating into evaporated shame
leaving condensation upon your forehead
A lover who can bring color to my cheeks
with a look across the room
making me feel like a jazz song on a rainy day
beautiful and devastating
a half mended broken heart
wrapping arms around all the lovers in the world,
in an embrace that shatters existence.
Head bent back with neck exposed
to stars beyond apartment ceilings
the light is dancing as a man would
movement guided only by
the flickering in the eyes of another
Color above distorting into
halos of candy colors shaking with vibrations
moving with the beats echoing the heart
whispering commands to me in a secret tongue
coaxing out the woman inside me with lovers eyes and intensity
with commands hushed into kissed words
I moved for you
made love to your eyes, mouth, and hands
with simultaneous pleasures
seeing something invisible to any other
reaching in to wrap your hand around the truth in me
never with any request for the proof from me
Music crashed through with thunderous applause
yet silent in slow motion and frozen in time
with licked lips and flowing hair
inhibitions dissipating into evaporated shame
leaving condensation upon your forehead
A lover who can bring color to my cheeks
with a look across the room
making me feel like a jazz song on a rainy day
beautiful and devastating
a half mended broken heart
wrapping arms around all the lovers in the world,
in an embrace that shatters existence.
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