Damn birds.

I had the pleasure of being woken up by two doves bonking on my windowsill this morning. Well, I'm not sure if they were actually 'bonking', with the rhythmic grunting noises in that ugly and unmistakable dove tone that steadily rose to a climax, followed by a frantic flapping of wings and general birdlike commotion, I can't be wrong.

So, it went on for about 5 minutes before I finally snapped, leapt out of bed, went over to the window, and slide it open with bloodlust. Two surprised looking doves were right there. One of them immediately flew off to a nearby rooftop, but the other just hopped over to an out-of-reach windowsill and then just stood there eyeing me with the vacuous, dumbass gaze that only a dove can muster. With that gazed, I got even more pissed off as I imagined that this stupid creature was somehow mocking me. In my admittedly twisted logic, I began to imagine that the bird knew I wasn't getting laid, and was trying to show me up, you know, to rub it in. Consumed with rage and avian loathing, I was tempted to try luring that little piece of shit closer. But then, a loud (and unmistakably sexual) human female moaning came echoing through the window below mine, causing the bird to flee. As I listened to my neighbor getting plowed, and the hearty gasps and muffled screams that accompaned her orgasms, I realized I had to go back to bed.